chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

New & Lazy


I give the new Monopoly game an EF for Epic Failure. Kids will probably love it, though. Changed all the playing pieces, rounded up the board, and worst of all there's NO CASH. The bank is electronic and located in the middle of the board.

Part of the fun of Monopoly is stealing money from the banker (altho I never actually did this, it's something I liked busting someone else doing). It's also the joy of being handed a big wad of cash when you wipe someone out with your heartless hotels.
  Most importantly, how you store your damn money is part of playing the game and having any personality whatsoever.

Everyone arranges their cash differently:

A. One neat stack of all bills together that doesn't show the other players how much you really have

B. OCD: Neat piles for each kind of bill. Each pile perfectly aligned side by side and partially tucked under the board with utmost obsessive compulsiveness
C. Secret stasher: Some money on the table, some under his ass, and maybe a couple 500's tucked under the shirt. Other players tend to think he's broke and no longer a threat.
D. Pigpen: He has all of his money in a big messy pile and spends a lot of time digging out correct change.

E. Mystery Millionaire: Regardless of where this person keeps his money, he produces endless $500 bills, as he's swiping them from the bank.

There was also always a smaller kid at the table who couldn't even count, so we'd take the time show him that three green bills, one yellow bill, and one pink bill pays the luxury tax. Eventually the kid knew this on his own, and eventually he even understood that he was handing over $75 ...

Oh, but with the new version of the game he can just swipe his ATM card. Booooo.

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