chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

Random Facts


That's just rude when Lowe's builds a new store right across the street from Home Depot.  Rude, and waiting nearby like a bully for the other to fold.

It's also really unimaginative. If Lowe's wants to steal customers from Home Depot, they could open a store a mile away but hand out free tools and hotdogs and kittens and shit like that. People also seem really fond of taking their dogs into these places, so the new store should probably have a BUY TWO LAWNMOWERS GET A FREE NEUTERING coupon...which could later also be applied to the free kittens.


It's hard for me to accept that obnoxiousness is rewarded with tons o' money...
I'd like to roll the inventor of the Snuggie head to toe in 10 layers of Snuggie, decorate him with Crocs, dunk him in Vitamin water, dangle him like a pinata, and have the Sham-Wow guy beat him senseless. I'd drag OxyClean into this if the feller was alive to defend himself, which I'm sure he'd do at the top of his lungs...


I hate picking things to wear each day. I hate buying new clothes to replace the old clothes. I hate my clothes becoming tight and loose depending upon how in love with pizza I am that month. I hate being looked up and down by a blonde/bejeweled/manicured/designer/tanned yuppie mom at the post office.

This is why I'd like to make up a durable, neutral colored uniform for myself, sew seven identical copies of it, and then just put that same thing on every day. I suppose I could spruce them up now and then with optional patches and medals for my moods and accomplishments. I'd have an "I didn't say the F-word all week" patch I could never wear, for sure.


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