Dear Dude(s) Crossing the Street,
Lately you guys like to cross the empty street late at night just as my car approaches. You like to slooooooow down and stare at me as my car pulls closer. I have to put on my brakes and watch you strut, scowl at me, and you finally just stop in the middle of the damn road. When I finally decide to go around you, you scream obscenities and punch my car as I pass.
I know the pedestrian has the right of way, but you are not on a cross-walk. And, let's face it, you're just trying to stir up some drama because you're bored and insecure. I just can't imagine the excitement involved (or anything to brag about to your friends) in going out of your way to make a polite girl stop her car for you in a sleepy vacation town. "Man, you shoulda seen me make her stop her car---I WAS SUCH A BADASS."
If you wanna pretend you're some kind of gangster out defending himself late at night in the 'hood, just know that next time I'll make your story more interesting and actually run over you. Now that we've established you won't be moving, and that my car gets punched when I pass you, I believe I'd rather dent my car with your stupid face.
Ok, that's all I've got to say about that.