I Don't Understand #1:
People buying bottles and bottles of water rather than buying a home water filter (one time investment under $50) and refilling the same damn container every day. I'm not talking about buying a single bottle on a roadtrip---I'm talking about every other person in the grocery store hauling around giant cases of plastic water bottles. You and the world are paying to have all that water hauled around on the highways, even if you recycle the bottles.
I Don't Understand #2:
Vitamin water. Again, pour yourself a glass of filtered water from your house and take a vitamin pill. Don't pay $3-4 for a plastic bottle of colored water with a vitamin dissolved in it.
Vitamin Water: when you are incapable of swallowing a multi-vitamin.
I Don't Understand #3:
Protein water. Eat an egg or a piece of cheese, and then drink some water from your house. Don't pay a couple bucks for colored water with a protein substance in it.
I cannot be bothered with food.
I Don't Understand #4:
Meat-flavored or vitamin water FOR DOGS. I love my dogs, but they can drink the same water as I do, thanks. If they need a vitamin, I can supply one without it being a part of their water.
I Don't Understand #5:
There's a new commercial where people are dancing and leaping around in the morning because they own some paper/plastic cups with lids in which to hold their morning coffee. That's right, ditch your reusable to-go mug and start using something to throw away every single day. I think part of the appeal here is heading into work or wherever looking like you just stopped off and bought your coffee, which is freaking stupid for an adult.
I Don't Understand #6: Feeling important because you are holding a water bottle (actors have a big fear of becoming dehydrated while answering a couple questions) or a to-go container of coffee. It reminds me of kids in movie theaters who beg, cry, and finally secure the largest Coke on the menu so that they can smugly strut to their seat and refill their bladder 800 times.
I Don't Understand #7: Crystal Light. This is 98% water, 2% sweeteners and artificial flavors and colors. It's a bottle of chemicals and water.
Also known as KoolAid for adults.
I think I could successfully sell a Beauty Water composed of 98% water, 2% chemical garbage. Drink this water and you will be beautiful because it's tinted pink, it's in a pretty bottle, and I'm charging you $5 for each serving. Really, I could sell a ton of them before anyone read the ingredients, especially if I could get the ever-important Jennifer Aniston to be spotted with one in her hand for a micro-second.
Meanwhile there are people and animals across the world who would just like a drink of a water, any water, even if it's full of stuff that might kill them later. And they want the water so that they can live, and they don't care what they drink it from.
There's a giant storm coming through...I hope griping here isn't the last thing I do.