chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

Consistently bad


I love scarves. The big fat fuzzy or knitted winter ones. It's really hard to find ones that aren't made of something itchy, though, because of my Princess-and-the-Pea sensitive skin that is allergic to everything on the planet.  But I'd snatch up every soft one I could find if they weren't so ridiculously expensive.  Well, unless you remember to look for them after winter on clearance.

I found this mother-lode on the website of a crocheting girl kind enough to pump all these out as friend/family gifts. I wish she knew me.

I've thought about making my own, but I don't know how to knit or crochet, and anything "crafty" I do turns out disastrous, ugly, and somehow ends up permanently damaging some surface in my house.

But... how hard can it be?  I remember my grandma showing me how to crochet a chain with yarn, and then I remember that you turn on the chain and start a second row by digging into the loops of the chain and making more loops.  With that vague bit of instructions from 30 years ago, I went and bought a crochet hook and some yarn a couple months ago and went after some scarf-making...

This stupid dvd cover makes me laugh.

Yes, it works to make a chain and then blindly stab at loops and make more loops until you end up striping back and forth in a sea of loops. I just know that there is a real technique for this that works a lot better, one that involves doing THE SAME THING EACH TIME---ya don't grab loop 4 one time, and loop 2 next time, just depending on which one is easier to get a hold of because you've knitted sections too tightly, cursing in the darkness and yanking the yarn...

Crocheting: Ya don't just make it up as you go along. Or do you?

It was fun to work on the first scarf while visiting my grandma last year. She didn't feel so great and was usually sitting across the table looking uncomfortable and tired. A couple times I showed her how the scarf was going and she laughed. She couldn't even see very well, but from four feet away she knew I was making a mess.

Well, no one was hurt---it's probably the least destructive of my crafting/cooking ventures, but the scarves look like poop:

If you are familiar at all with the Harry Potter universe, the scarves seem to have been made by Mrs. Weasley, both in color and lumps. Aaron says the scarf on the right (still under construction) looks like a piece of bacon.

But they are soft, and they are in colors that I got to choose myself, and they don't take very long. And I freaking use these things every day in the meat-locker building where I work. Brrr.

And, I must say, they aren't just bad.  A friend mentioned that the messiness is very "consistent" throughout, so they are consistently bad, which means I've done something wrong so well that I almost have my very own craptacular scarf-making style.  I like being consistently bad at something. So many other things are hit or miss, and I don't like the surprise and disappointment involved.


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