chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

Happy Valentine's Day


I'm not ready to think about February yet.

In September I saw a Christmas aisle begin at a store.  Just the other day (mid-December)  I noticed that a section of a store had been wiped clear of Christmas things to make room for Valentine's Day crapola. Spring-time clothes are already next to the winter ones, and I'm sure winter will be entirely shoved out the door within a week.

Hurry! Don't miss December's 4th of July Clearance Blowout Spectacular!

There's something disturbing about the holidays and seasons being rushed along like that---on display too many months early, and then being dismissed before they arrive.  Rush rush. Money money... 

I'd be happier if I just didn't go in any stores until January, but that's not really possible. In the mean time, here's a note to many of the folks I'm encountering lately:

Dear Shoppers,

Please stop walking backwards. And sideways. And shouting personal stuff into your phone along the way.

Stop camping in the middle of an aisle, forming a impenetrable barrier out of yourself, children, and basket, and then ignoring every person who looks like they want to pass.

Don't leave your toddler alone on the sidewalk while you run out to the car.

My mom says she'll be right back.

How about NOT having a long conversation with eight family members in between the exit doors?

If ya knock over an 8 foot box o' something, don't just walk away.

Learn how to write a check in under five minutes.

If you need to buy 8000 individually priced artificial flowers, try ordering  them in bulk on the internet...or just shoot me in the head before you get in line.

And, hey, it's been 15 minutes. That guy still hasn't pulled out of his parking space yet----HOW ABOUT IF YOUR LAZY ASS DRIVES ON TO ANOTHER SPOT SO THAT THE 80 CARS BEHIND YOU CAN GET BACK TO THEIR LIVES?

Hmm.... Where should I park?

Ok, enough of all that.


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