chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,
chickenshoot
chickenshoot

Diamonds

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There's a commercial where the wife is sleeping, and the husband sneaks off to find a necklace he bought, which he leaves around her neck. Nevermind the fact that she could roll over and break it during the night because she doesn't know it's there, my problem is that the necklace looks like this:



Come on. That looks like a worm made out of diamonds. 

It's supposed to be a "journey" in the form of a winding row of diamonds, ya know, to represent their married years.  I don't know, a journey symbol might be cute drawn with icing on a cake or made out of icecream scoops or a doodled in the sand. Diamonds are just too expensive and serious for this wormy design.

Or maybe I'm just bitter that I couldn't appreciate such a gift like a normal woman would. I would wake up and find this around my neck and shout at Aaron, "Jesus, do you know how many kittens we could have bought with this thing???"

And then I would have told him it looked like a worm, and the moment would be ruined.


(Another fine design, the "stick" of diamonds...)


But there's no danger of awaking with a diamond worm around my neck because Aaron knows I don't want diamonds of any sort. There's one in my wedding ring that I worry about every single day. Is it still there? Ok.  Still there? Ok...


My favorite piece of jewelry is an old fake silver pin in the shape of a walrus with green glass eyes. And a rusty little donkey pin. If I must wake up with jewelry on me for our 20th anniversary (if I haven't killed him by then), I'll take an old whale pin next. Whales are cute, and they are so inappropriate for jewelry that they become more cute.

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