chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

Retired Painter


My friend's birthday was coming up, and I wanted to paint her a picture. But, well... I don't ever paint anymore. When I do try to nowadays it feels really awkward, and after about five minutes I wonder WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? Ya know, like discovering a soldering iron in your hands when you've never welded before in your whole life.

So I tried to win her a nifty old cigarette dispenser on Ebay (even though I'd cut off my left foot to make her stop smoking). You push down on the top and the case pops open, cigarettes bend outward in a circle for guests, whilst a music box plays "Love Story." Oh, and there was a picture of a dog on the side of it because that just makes sense. Well, I forgot about the auction one night, and some jerk outbid me one damn dollar...

Anyways, I then sat down to paint her a picture, and I had to struggle for a bit to bring any pleasant image to mind, otherwise she'll end up with something that will make her normal friends wish she didn't know me. Here it is:

It looks forced and blah, but I hope she'll know I tried... Come on, it IS a happy image. Well, unless these two are stranded at sea with nothing other than those martinis and a good attitude, which did cross my mind.

The rabbit and bear are drinking martinis because dirty vodka martinis make me really happy. At least they used to before I started violently vomiting them EVERY single time. I'm bitter about having my alcohol consumption powers taken away from me, but it's probably for the best. Without painful consequences I would drink 8 martinis every night, and I would be under a bridge right now instead of sitting here at the computer typing this oh-so-important group o' words.

p.s. "Violently vomiting" has a nice ring to it. I'll bet I come across that word pairing in a children's book really soon.

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