chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

Weddings and Stuff

I'm going to a wedding today and have nothing to wear. I have no clothes that aren't of t-shirt quality, missing buttons, ripped under the arms, etc. Even things that were once "nice" are now in terrible shape because I don't wash things correctly and/or get snagged by dogs and doorknobs and bushes. I have terrible luck with clothes, so I certainly hate being forced to go buy nicer clothes that I will never wear again or I will manage to destroy within one wearing.

So...I'm not going to do it.

I'm digging thru stuff I have. Here's a white shirt that I couldn't fit in a year ago, but I fit it today. Paired with this too-short black skirt I most definitely look like a waitress. Hey, as long as I don't carry around a tray at the reception, perhaps no one will say anything to me about it.

Or there's this shirt---hey, dammit, somehow my lower arms have received some sun lately, but my shoulders seem to have been in the crypt for years; I have a slight "farmer's tan," so sleeveless is not an option.

Here's this dress. Bought it once because it was ridiculously on sale, but there's never an occassion to wear it. What occassion is there, really, for one to look like a sausage wrapped in a doily? Useless.

Ok, here's a jacket that looks like it once belonged to Willie Wonka...Pants that once belonged to Red Buttons.

A couple brown skirts and greenish or gray-purply shirts---if I wear any of these Aaron will announce that I'm wearing "Yoda colors" or his friend will point out that I look like Schmee Skywalker (sp?---Darth Vader's mom). I'm not sure why guys find that the Star Wars universe retains the rights to all the drab colors I like, but it's not appreciated.

Selection made: waitress uniform.

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