Hooray for Al Gore, greatest president we never had, and now apparently the smartest man on earth. He did, after all, discover global warming for all of Hollywood---possibly, in his own mind, for the rest of the world. If he hadn't taught Hollywood to care about the environment, TO THIS DAY tragically the Oscar crew would not be recycling their paper coffee cups or carpooling. That's right, enlightened by Gore, the Oscars have gone GREEN... Why didn't they do this before? Why hasn't EVERY Hollywood event gone green? After all, Hollywood celebrities are surrounded by Californians, the most outspoken of which are usually claiming to be the most "natural" and environment-loving folks on the planet. Why is Hollywood just now getting the message? Because they are so out of touch that they don't know what to care about without another a fat-headed celebrity to tell them. Oh, and they have to see it documented in a movie. Well, it always helps children to see things explained with illustrations...
If the amount of Gore's presence wasn't enough, there's the fact that Melissa Etheridge's terribly generic song won Best Song simply because it was the most "responsible" choice for the Academy. By throwing another award at Gore's environmental movie, the Academy has practically saved the world. How obviously wrong it was to see a giant show-stopping number from DreamGirls (also up for best song), only to have Etheridge's lame song win a second later. It was so undeserved that it was almost embarassing to watch everyone clap as though this win made sense, and I felt increasingly stupid for even watching the show.
Etheridge's song and the movies "Crash" and "Shakespeare In Love" have now proved that wins are not gonna always be about what's best quality---it's either about who promoted their movie more zealously, and/or what vote makes the Academy look more socially/environmentally responsible. Lame.
The Oscars were never all that big a deal anyways, but used to be fun to watch. Or maybe they were always stupid, and I'm just now catching on. In any case, next year I'd rather wipe my ass with a cactus that Sunday night. Thanks, Al!