Remember today when we met at the intersection of Central Expressway and Lovers Lane? I was in front of you at a RED LIGHT, watching for an opening to turn right into the VERY heavy traffic. Remember when I edged out a little bit to see better, and then you gunned your yuppie-mobile right up my ass? That was so cool.
Let's see, then you sat in your car like nothing was wrong, so I got out and asked if everyone was ok, and rather than answering, you hesitantly (and most angrily) got out to check for damage. You looked at my car as though you found it disgusting, and then you used one finger to push down a little piece of plastic that was sticking up on my bumper as if to say, "I can fix your car with one hand. Whatever."
I said, "Hey, what happened here?" And you said with aggravation, "You started to go and then you stopped."
I'm sorry, this must be the first time you've driven a car, so let me explain that cars don't always launch from 0-60 straight out into the intersection. If you had known better, you might have realized that it's much more safe to let the person ahead of you get partially into the intersection before flooring the gas pedal.
At first glance I could see that you caused a little crack in my bumper. I'm not really concerned with the car being cosmetically perfect, but you hit the car so hard that I had to wonder if there might be something wrong inside the car that we can't see at this moment. Common sense says let's at least exchange insurance info, but when I suggested this, you said, "There's no damage. There's really nothing we can do." I saw 80 cars piled behind you, so I suggested that we at least pull into a parking lot for a minute, and you huffed and took your aggravated ass back to your car and followed me.
When we pulled into the parking lot, you didn't even bother to get out of the car. I understand that your golden day with your golden children (in back) in your golden car is being interrupted, but hey, since the accident was entirely your fault, maybe you could pretend to care. Again I said, shouldn't we exchange info? Your face was completely emotionless except for impatience, and you got out, slammed your door and looked at both cars again. "I don't see any damage on your car," you said, and then we examine your car again. This time we both noticed that your fender is jacked up, and when I saw the damage on the glittery car of such an asshole woman, I felt surprised at myself that it made me kinda happy.
"Mine's broken there," you said blankly.
And I said, "Yep, sure is."
And then I looked at my car again and couldn't decide what to do, as you were unwilling to speak or pull out your insurance card or offer any suggestions.
I said, "I just hope there's nothing wrong with my car that we can't see."
I hated to think I might be driving away with parts fall off, and then knowing I'd be paying a huge repair bill that you caused entirely. Why couldn't we exchange insurance JUST IN CASE?
You didn't even respond to what I said. By now your golden children had stepped out to look at the car, so you just shuffled them back inside without a word.
I said stupidly again, "Shouldn't we write down each other's information?"
And you said, "There's no damage. There is nothing to be done here," and split ASAP.
I sat fuming in my car as I realized I should have written down your plate number or at least called you an asshole.
Since you were in such a hurry to get back on the road to ruin other people's days, I felt the need to write this letter to you so that I could wrap this up properly. See, this afternoon I couldn't understand your stupid blank face and lack of words, but looking back now I realize that behind your giant $500 sunglasses you were just afraid of having to pay a single penny. You were so afraid of owing a cent that you couldn't be polite, you couldn't be sorry, and you weren't about to offer any paperwork linking you to me or that scene. And I just wanted to tell you that I didn't want anything from you, and if we had exchanged info you would have never heard from again unless something very obviously went wrong with my car later in the day. Let's be clear that otherwise I would never accept a fucking penny from you. And let's be clear that the accident was YOUR FAULT, and your attitude was APPALLING, and that you are a small small person to not even so much as say, "oops!" after you hit my car, which would have at least made you seem human.
And here's my chance to tell you:
a) Hey, you didn't have to be such an asshole.
b) You are one of the many things wrong with this world.
c) I hope a house falls on you today.
d) If a house doesn't fall on you, perhaps the Wizard can at least give you a soul.
Deanna in the dirty Toyota from this afternoon