Saturday was the coldest damn night of the year, and it was very much Fall and Halloween-like, but as soon as we slid back into the 70's and sunshine (sort of) it was Spring again for me, and the pumpkins everywhere seemed stupid.
I have some pictures of our party, but they remain useless inside my camera. Since I don't have access to them right this second, let me at least acknowledge Halloween with pictures of something else scary. Here's a collection of some of dumbest old costumes some of us had as kids (thanks to Rich for this link):
I like the way the manufacturer makes it very very clear who we are looking at---Scott Baio's mask is accompanied by another picture of him on the smock. (And really, who ever said to their mom, "Can I please be Scott Baio for Halloween?" I mean, I had a crush on the guy, but I didn't want to BE him. Did anyone want to be him?) And then there's Jaws---nothing scarier than a shark mask with a shark t-shirt directly under it.
AND NOW ANOTHER TERRIBLE STORY FROM MY CHILDHOOD:
I realize most little girls want to be princesses and kitties and Cinderella and bunnies and other cute/pretty ideas for Halloween. Maybe I wanted to be that stuff, but I don't remember it. I usually wanted to be a witch or Morticia (Addams Family) or a monster. I do think I had one of those cheap masks of Morticia at some point. Then we became really poor and started making up shit from objects lying around the house. Like the year my little sister was a bag of trash.
My mom will have to correct me as to whether I got this kit for Christmas or Halloween (and if it was Christmas, what kind of gift is this for a little girl anyways?), but at some point I had this big monster make-up kit. I probably asked for it---I remember that if I saw a monster on tv back then, I wanted to know exactly how he was made-over with the fur and lumps and such. That was what kept a movie monster from actually scaring me: any thought of that monster killing me was usually canceled out by wanting to know how to become or create a monster.
So this kit was probably meant for teenagers, and I was probably 10 or younger. My mom and an aunt or two helped me apply a bunch of this shit to my face. We pasted stuff on with the little bottles of glue included, and then we covered my face in greens/browns/and blacks. Then my hair was ratted to go with it. There's a picture of me somewhere---I look like nothing in particular, just a dirty green, lumpy mess with big hair. So that was a really exciting 30 minutes or so, and then it was time to take that stuff off.
Surely there were instructions included for applying/removing the make-up and scars. Maybe my mom and aunts didn't read it? Or maybe the kit was missing a special solvent for those who don't want to be a monster FOREVER? I just know that my mom and me pulled at this stuff and scrubbed and peeled away my own skin while my aunt and assorted cousins laughed at me. Scrubbing and scrubbing and crying. It was awesome. Oh shit that hurt, and during the process I was thinking, "I don't want to be a monster forever."
But that was said in a panic. In reality I do still to this day want to be a monster, and I am one. I'm the subtle kind in human form with a terrible temper. And there are many more of us out there unfortunately, so be careful.