chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

May cause this and that


For a few months I've had an extra angry stomach and been ridiculously tired. I don't have migraines more often, but they are more fierce now and it takes three days and more drugs/cursing to whip one into submission.

The headache pic (left) was not good enough for migraine, so I adjusted it on the right.

I didn't feel like the lady on the left was accurately portraying me, so I adjusted her on the right.

I've reached a level of regular discomfort that the doctor could say, "Well, we're gonna need to cut off one of your arms as a new migraine preventative," and I'd chew it off myself and hand it to him. I'd tear his arm off for good measure.

Demo of procedure with a very buff chick's arm.

I am not game for adding new drugs to my survival kit, which I try to keep lean, but I have to be realistic now. I've already tried herbal this and that, changing everything I eat, eating nothing, hanging chicken bones over the door, and being bled by leeches. Now it's time to surrender to the pharmaceuticals.

The doctor offered me two things, and you might guess that one is an anti-psychotic, but I will neither confirm nor deny this. I will, however, compare my problems with the main side effects of the two solutions:

My problemsnausea, stomach pain, drowsiness, headache
Side effects of two new drugsnausea, stomach pain, drowsiness, headache

As we all well know from the voiceover of prescription drug commercials,*  nearly any prescription drug with any oomph will also have 50 side effects that we hope are worth enduring to eliminate the original symptoms.
[I tend to think the ones with bloodclot, stroke, and death might not be worth it.]  So I think it's funny that my doctor has picked not one but TWO drugs that have side effects mirroring my symptoms. Hmmm... 

"Would you like more of the same?" says Mister Headache
"Why, yes, I would, sir!" says I.

Maybe it was a mistake... Maybe he's trying to kill me... Maybe he's trying to make me endure the same shit two-fold until I'm IMMUNE to it like a superhero!  (I like that idea as long as I live thru it).  We shall see.


* May cause:  Blurred vision; constipation; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; gas; headache; lightheadedness; stomach pain; trouble concentrating; weight gain; rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); bloating or swelling of the hands, feet, or ankles; changes in vision; confusion; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever; inability to control urination; loss of coordination; mental or mood changes; muscle aches, pain, tenderness, or weakness (especially if this occurs with a fever or general feeling or discomfort); speaking problems; sudden, unexplained weight gain; suicidal thoughts or actions; unusual tiredness or weakness.

Cool. Where do I sign up?


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