chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,

Something To Count On


There is a mockingbird that poops on the corner railing of the deck every day. EVERY day.

He's cute and all, but every few days I accidentally touch the poop, and at these moments I hate that bird.

Still, I appreciate knowing I'll see this mockingbird every morning from the kitchen window. I like knowing exactly where he will land, and knowing that he will hang out there for a couple seconds, poop, and move on. He'll likely be back tomorrow.

It's nice to be able to count on a few not-so-great things. I mean, it's good to see them coming. Otherwise every day is a freak shitstorm, and we're all wide-eyed and surprised and disappointed again and again.

Like I can count on FedEx sucking, that's for sure.

They sucked again today, like old times. When I found out my package was coming via FedEx I could go ahead and start the disappointment right away, rather than looking at the clock at the end of the day and wondering, "Hmmm....I wonder if they are gonna show?" and still hoping for no reason.

And I was right. FedEx driver couldn't  find the suite number in the building, so he held on to the package and kept driving. No one called me and asked a question. No one asked the receptionist up front. No time for that, says FedEx customer service. But apparently they have time to drive all the way to the building again tomorrow....hmmm.

Although I already called FedEx this afternoon and cleared up the suite number, customer service can't guarantee I'll receive the package tomorrow. Once they miss that initial delivery target of 24-48 hours, all bets are off, and it could become 3-6 months.

At any time during this 3-6 months, btw, you are welcome to go the warehouse and dig thru all the crap and find your package.  Whatever they can do to avoid actual human contact is best.

Customer service has asked me to call FedEx in the morning when they open and remind someone about the correct suite number and then ask if my package will go on a truck that morning. I asked customer service if perhaps we weren't already taking care of that with our current conversation. Ooooh no, she says, I'm putting this info in the computer right now, but I can't guarantee anyone will read it in the morning before trucks load up and go.  Ok, lady, put the info in your useless computer, and I'll call again in the morning.

This is all what I expect from FedEx, so it feels very normal and cozy and just about right.

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