chickenshoot (chickenshoot) wrote,
chickenshoot
chickenshoot

Cryptkeeper Beauty Secrets









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I went to buy a new little canister of a foundation, and I noticed it now comes in a version called "matte."  Hey, if there's extra help for my shiny-ass face (which is also a shiny ass-face),  I can use it.

This particular make-up is a powder, and it helps cover up my blotchy cheeks and tame my shiny red nose, as I'm slowly turning into W.C. Fields.  It also provides sunscreen for the aforementioned sun-damaged nose.




I bought this make-up on a day I felt like shit. When I took it home and tried it on, I found out it made me look even worse, like I was wearing a super thin mask that made me look kind of dead.



Normally this make up feels good and light and helps me look 10% more alive... I just figured, hey, it will look better when I feel better in a couple days.

But over the next few weeks I continue to look like hell, and I conclude that it's not the new makeup or that I was sick. Nope, my face is just older. Quite suddenly and permanently.

Then one day, don't remember why, I used the almost empty jar of the old make-up and found myself looking 10% more alive again. I realized, "Oooooooooh...It's the new make-up that sucks. I'm not actually turning into the Crypt-keeper...at least not at quite such an alarming rate as it seemed."


My destiny...


My review of the new matte foundation:  Use it if you want to look ten years older and accent every single wrinkle on your face. Use it if you wanna look dried up and vaguely ill. If you already look dried up and vaguely ill, this matte stuff can quickly have people readying you for a sarcophagus.





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